Ennui or…?

I just can’t seem to shake this unbelieveable ennui.

Maybe it’s the female problems I’ve been going through the last 6 months, this new onslaught with the blood clots in my legs, taking a crapload of new meds that may or may not be helping.

Maybe it’s the loss of a job I had for almost 23 years. Or the legal battles I’ve instituted against my ex which look to be drawn out indefinitely while he treks all over the countryside racing and gambling; all the while professing his paucity of funds.

I usually try to look on the upside of things, I can’t really complain–I know I have it better than a lot of people. I have beautiful, talented children who are just starting out on the next stage of their lives. Despite these new health issues, they aren’t nearly as bad as so many others. I have a nice home, comfortable bed to sleep in, good food and the occasional dinner or lunch out—life is good.

But, there are days when I don’t even want to get dressed. I do get busy and start things, but then can’t always complete them. I know I’m probably going through a depressive period, but can’t seem to motivate myself to do anything about it. 

Well, there, I guess getting it out there helps some!! Take a deep breath and keep on moving on!! Going to go give my kid a hug!ImageImage

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One Comment Add yours

  1. TheGhostHybrid says:

    Y’know, I’ve recently wanted to know more about SAD (seasonal affective disorder). At first I thought it only applied to winter, but apparently it is also known as Summer Sadness. It also might be tied to genetic threads—i.e., if you have it, there’s a good chance I have it, and vice versa. We might not have SAD, but we could possibly be suffering from some of its symptoms. Of course, living with Oregonian weather probably isn’t helping that…

    Anyway, I’m rambling. When you come up here, I’m giving you such a big hug. More than one big hug. Many big hugs. Nothing but hugging. Eh, you get the idea. Keep on keeping on, and just know that better things are just on the horizon for you!

    (Also, if you have medically diagnosed depression and someone tells you to just “stop being sad,” kick them hard. Mental illnesses are just as real as physical illnesses, and you don’t hear anyone telling others to “stop feeling sore” or anything like that.)

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